Nervousness is Not Picky on Who It Chooses to Haunt.

I finally got a part-time job and being the new kid on the block is not easy, especially in retail. Stepping up to the plate in my all black outfit, I couldn't help to get the smile off my face. My face was like stone and not because I was happy to be there. The fact that I couldn't yank this smile away even with a crowbar was due to compounded nervousness. Although my demeanor was extremely friendly and polite, most of these customers seemed distant and judgmental. Of course, the cash register didn't make things better. When ever there was a problem with this machine, the roll of the eyes usually happened on cue. Every time, I felt like I wanted to tie a white blindfold around my eyes, puff on a cigarette and say, "C'est la vie!"

But then I started thinking. Am I the only nervous one here? For one, these people are awfully quiet? How many of us really as customers feel like talking to the cashier when making a purchase? As a society in the U.S., personal space and time are greatly emphasized. Maybe the customer just didn't want to talk because of such a reason. At the register, all I wanted to do was get things done short and sweet so these people can go home to their families. As a customer, I usually feel the same.

So that's when I started to speak to my customers about things like the weather, Christmas shopping, kids, the economy, etc. It really made a difference. One lady was quite sweet saying, "If we had more cashiers like you, there wouldn't be many grumpy people out there." In one case, it even helped to calm a person down.

After facing four people that really woke up on the wrong, hard and bad side of the bed that morning, one woman came to my register with two Internet and one in-store return. It looked like her blow dryer got the best of her as her blonde hair stood up on one side. In her hand was a pink, puffy kids jacket and a unzipped black leather purse exposing a plethora of papers. As I tried to work her returns, I hit a problem with the machine and had to call our manager. Instead of chewing me out or whining like most customers, this very troubled lady repeatedly apologize to me for the inconvenience. "I'm sorry this is happening on your third day," the lady said. "I didn't mean to make it this difficult, but I really need to get this done," she said. Every time I tried to assure her everything was going to be OK and she thanked me for being so patient. We talked about some of her plans for the day and the weather. She was finally calm. That is until a little girl came walking up to us with one of the managers. I can still remember it. "Is this your Mommy?" the manager said. "I found her in my office," she said. I thought this poor woman was going faint. Mommy and daughter were reunited though.....for about 45 seconds. As I was helping the next customer, the little girl came running pass my counter yelling, "No coat!" Running after her was the woman, with hair on end shouting, "But Honey, you have to listen to Mommy!"

Despite that episode, that little serenity between both of us was not only refreshing to me, but most likely to this woman. I think if she didn't have that little peace of mind, she probably would have collapsed while walking up to my counter. She probably wouldn't have the energy to chase this little terror through Macy's to get home in time to make dinner for her family.

In the end, I thought retail was going to swallow me alive. Now that I see most of my customers feel the same way as they put up their swords and shields or fumble with their receipts, I don't feel too bad.

© Laura Lynn Miller Productions Inc.

I Got the Degree. Where On Earth Are the Jobs?

Writers aren't born. Storytellers are. As far I can throw my brain back into the past, I have thought of stories in my mind. Stories that can chill a 9-year-old bones quicker than a late October wind gust and stories that warm one's heart with passion and inspiration. But it wasn't until my senior year that I was first told that I was a great writer. I couldn't believe how it flowed out of me. With more encouragement, things only got better with my writing.

My creative writing teacher encouraged me to carry on this pathway in college. Through her and my writing, I felt it was the right thing to do and it was. From August 2004 to August 2009, I excelled at Burlington County College and Rutgers with my writing, earning high marks and creating great pieces of work. I got even more inspiration from my college advisor to strive for more in my talent. His hug on the stage at graduation only set my aspirations higher. Looking at all my professors and friends that have encouraged me to go forward and all the work I have done, I couldn't wait to venture out into the real world to show off my talents.

I got 50 copies of my resume in a new, purple folder on my desk, my portfolio in a blue binder in my desk drawer and a B.A. degree in journalism and media studies stating in bold, italic letters underneath my degree major "Summa Cum Laude" coming in the mail. But where are the jobs?

It is said that "patience is a virtue." That is most certainly true. I knew the job market would be tough nowadays, but the fact that I can't even get a job at Dominoes Pizza to earn some money is now starting to get to me. Most companies are turning to interns nowadays because they're non-paid workers and since I am no longer a student, tough noogies on me. I could go to graduate school, but the fact that there is chance that I could get a head-start out in the world of work still calls me.

But I'm entry-level. A possible liability that gets paid. As entry-levels, we are just getting the hang of the ropes, showing off what skills we have. But if we are not careful, we could most certainly hang ourselves. Even give the ones holding us up some pretty nasty rope burns. Years ago, one, young person experienced such an event when she forgot to black out the face of a person she was interviewing for a segment on her news outlet. This person's name quickly flew around all of NYC's media market and according to the rumor, she never got a job again.

So instead feeling above the rest, for a while I felt like I was swamped with the millions of jobless graduates out there like me. Out of all of my searching, I only found one apprenticeship in my area and I hope to get it. Although I feel like I have fallen a bit, people have always said the best thing to do is to get back up on our horses and show people what you're made of. To lay down and give up is an easy thing to do, but there's no reward. After practically five years of hard work, I can't give up.

My Grandma always said, "When you think you have it bad, someone has it worse." I know there are others out there who are out of work and who have been out of work longer than me. I respect you, including those who have dependents. I never knew how decrepit the job market was like and now I feel the pain.

According to an Irish blessing I once heard, "May your troubles be less, your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door." Continue to shovel on. I know that's what my high school creative writing teacher and my college advisor would want me to do. For her, for him, for my family, for my friends, for my writing and for my future, I'll continue to shoot high and ride hard for my dreams.

© Laura Lynn Miller Productions Inc.